God Moments

Life can be a crazy stream of ebbs and flows.  Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the move of the water, and not pay attention to the details.  Today, I am paying attention.  The past few months have been a season of changes.  God has prepared me for them in every way.  It is truly amazing to see how He dictates those changes. 

Two months ago I left for Peru.  It was the mission trip I have gone on in five years.  I honestly didn't know what to expect.  God had made it clear this was something I needed to do.  I didn't know why, but he ironed out the details that allowed me to go.  For instance, I was downsized at the end of last year.  Had I not been downsized, I wouldn't have been able to plan to take two weeks off in July to even think about going.  Yet, I did.  God put that in my heart.  He also, then allowed me to start a new job (which also allowed me to buy my first home) in which I could tell them about pre-arranged plans.  God worked it out.  The question is why?  Why did I need to go so badly? 

Honestly - that answer is still coming.  I do know this - It changed my life.  I have been overseas before, and being there actually felt at home, because in many ways it was like being in Brazil again.  I loved it, yet God has put a hold on me going back.  That's not for me right now.  He didn't send me there necessarily for the burden of the people, but more so the ability to be willing and obey.  I obeyed the command to go and have been abundantly blessed.  The friendships that have grown from that trip have been tremendous.  The people I went with have become an extended family, when I was not expecting that.  God has placed examples of Godly parents, Godly marriages, and Godly friendships in my life with each person there.  He also has shown me the importance of saying Yes to what He asks. 

I can't tell you how many times I have probably questioned why, or hesitated when God said do this or go there.  How many times have I missed His blessings because I didn't want to do it, it would hinder me.  Following God's lead is never easy, yet it is always amazing. 

Within the last four weeks God has truly amazed me.  I hadn't been happy with my work arrangements, but was content that I had a job.  If God wanted me to continue there, I would do it.  Yet, I prayed for one opportunity and only one opportunity to show up.  I also had several friends praying.  Well - I applied for one position.  As soon as I did that, the gates opened up.  5 different opportunities opened up.  3 of them involved moving, which I didn't want to do, but at the same time it was God saying - You asked and I provided an over abundance.  I love you more than you can imagine.  You will only have one answer and it will come from me, but you need to know the blessings I can pour out on you.  To say the least - I start a new job tomorrow.  It is not the job that made the most money, or had the best benefits.  It is the job God lead me to for some reason or another.  I may never know why, He may show me abundantly why.  I can't be concerned with the reasons of why behind it though.  That is not our job.  Our job is to be thankful for the opportunity, to accept the blessing and to obey his will for our lives.  Where He guides, we must follow.  Life when you don't, hurts. 

Today, I was talking with a friend about the amazing experiences God has done in her life and that of her family, as well as in my life.  She phrased it beautifully (this is probably a very poor summary of it) by saying that God's journey in our lives is better than the most amazing Roller Coaster ride you will ever ride.  You go up and down, turn by turn, never really knowing what's next or what direction you are facing, but exhilarated all the same.  When you are done and step off, you can't help but say - That ROCKED!  God's journey rocks better than that...He maps it together, one turn might meet the next, you might go up and down, your stomach might be in your chest, you may get shaken back and forth a few times, but in the end you land next to Him and it is the most exciting adventure you will ever see.  In the end, you can look back and see each turn, and know what came from that.  God's design is beautiful and amazing, by far the best experience we will ever have.

Changes

Well - I sat in silence, and a lot of things changed.  Amazing how God has worked like that.  God has provided for me around every corner and blessed me with thing after thing.  It really amazes me what can happen in a month's time. 

So in the last month or so I have completed my first half marathon, with a foot injury only two weeks before the race, and I have bought my first home - a condo.  I never really thought I would, but God kept pushing me in that direction and then door after door opened.  I have been living here for almost two weeks already.  Amazing how quickly time flies and how much God can do in just a month.  Two months ago I wasn't even really considering it and had only just gotten a new job.

No one can tell me that God cannot bless you out of rough times.  He has, and more so He has grown me in the last two months in ways I cannot even describe.  Everything about my life screams unworthy to me, but yet here I stand.  God still loves me, despite myself...What an amazing love that is!  I am so thankful. 

All the changes have also lead to some crazy times, including getting off track working out, not really having time to do much other than pack, move or take phone calls to organize things...But yet, God has used that.  It may not be affecting others, but I am taking value in this time I have with Him.  A time I wouldn't have if things in my life were different.  So I thank God right now for my situation, for what He has done in my life and the plan He has for me.  I thank him for understanding friends and friends who cherish me enough to say..."I love ya.  I'm here when you need me." 

God knows what He is doing.  He doesn't make mistakes...What a wonderful thing that is!

Life hurts

Sometimes life is just painful....Today is one of those days for me.  I have been training for close to 5 months now for the Half Marathon Flying Pig in Cincy and today - two weeks before the race - I may have a stress fracture in my foot. 

I don't get it...I have always been athletic before and done well, I don't break bones.  But here I am, so close to accomplishing this great endeavor in my life, and the rug is being yanked out from under me.  I'm mad, I'm upset...I am hurt, I am sad.  I am a whole conglomerate of things, but mostly I have to be thankful.  It could be worse.  I might be able to rest for the next two weeks and be okay on race day.  I might not.  (I am gonna give it my best for sure though)

Through it all though - We only need to ask one question: Is this what God wants?  God is going to use me no matter what...Perhaps, He will use me through healing my foot.  Perhaps he will use me through the attitude I portray in the next two weeks.  God doesn't tell us He will meet all of our hopes and desires...Sometimes he just says No.  You don't get to see the fruit of your labor, but does that call us to labor less the next time?  Not at all.  It just calls us to labor harder, and harder.  We might never see the results, I might never cross my finish line, but God will know the work I put into it, He will know whether I obeyed or not.  It's not about winning, it's not about crossing that line, it is truly about the preparation and endurance of the whole.

Crossroads

Essentially the last few months have been a lot of different crossroads for me...I have thought about it over and over and over...I have tried to figure out what God has prepared me for, I have tried to figure out why I have been placed at these crossroads of where to live, what jobs to take, how to provide for myself, etc, etc. 

The reality of it is though - I don't think there is an answer.  At least not an answer that I am suppose to know.  My job is to trust God and trust Him fully...My job is to choose Him no matter what the crossroad is that faces me...This was emphasized to me again today in both Sunday School(ABF) and church.  I love it and it frightens me (Mostly it frightens the control freak side of me).

I don't know what is stirring in me, or what God has prepared me for, but I know He isn't done.  I may have started a job this week, and chosen what I believe He wants me to do for now, but that's not the end of the decisions.  Every road we travel has a lot of turn-offs and a lot of curbs.  We still have to pay attention or we might run past a curb and straight off a cliff.  We have to make sure we veer when God says, not when we want to. One turn-off may look exciting to us, but we still have to make sure we ask God what it is that He wants from us...That exciting path may be where everyone else on the road is going, but that doesn't make it right. 

Defying the crowd, defying friendships - that's hard.  It's not easy to say NO to the ones you love...To let them know that You will love them no matter what, but can't morally agree with a decision, or can't participate in something with them because it stands against what you believe.  For me - I believe it's even harder, when you allowed yourself to stray away and do things you didn't agree with with those friends.  To tell them No now, that's hard.  But God doesn't convict you of something without reason - Never doubt the convictions God puts on your heart.  FOLLOW THEM.  Don't allow yourself to fall into the paths of the world, because it is fun and easy.  In the long run our goal in this life isn't to be happy and live content, fun lives, but rather it is to Serve God to the fullest no matter what the circumstances. 

When you face your next crossroad - figure out which path you are going to take...Do you choose Jesus' path or the path of the crowd? 

Nerves from Change

So, I have always struggled with change...I tend to go into bouts of depression and/or struggle with why God has put so many changes in my life.  In reality - I have had to change things a lot...Since I was 12, I have been moving every 3 years or so - and they haven't ever really been simple moves, but rather big ones...Move States, move continents, etc.  This is the first time in my life that my change issue comes with physically staying in the same location, but just moving jobs. 

The funny thing about that is - this is a big change from what I am used to...Each of my previous examples of work places I have been completely uprooted - New home, new place, new churches, no friends.  This time I keep all the same social aspects of life, but change jobs...And I think I am more nervous about this job than any...

But why am I nervous?  Well - change is scary...Change means new things, new impressions, new judgments.  Face it - most people will judge us instantly...And that is scary.  More than anything I get nervous because I doubt myself.  Perhaps this isn't what God wanted for me?  Perhaps I sold out when I chose the safety that comes with a manufacturing job rather than waiting on news for something different? 

Reality - Worry doesn't come from God - peace of mind comes from God.  I worry, because I have stopped trusting that this is His permissive will for me.  God wants me in Northern Kentucky for some reason or another - and He wants me to be provided for, however it is that I choose.  As much as my heart desires and longs for a time to go on the mission field and help those that are impoverished and hurting, God has told me that Now is not the time...In fact - He point blank told me that tonight...Wait in Him, enjoy the ride, praise Him in everything we do...Amazing what a difference that can make. 

So as much as I am nervous - I am trusting that God will provide for me and prepare the path for me with my new job tomorrow.  He will be there for each of us...sometimes it's hard to imagine, sometimes we don't necessarily feel His presence among our friends and/or family, but God is there hoping you will include Him in your day!

A Multitasking Generation

Being 27 years old - I am definitely in the prime of the multitasking generation.  Almost everything we do has us doing more than one thing at a time.  I noticed this most recently when driving today - I had this need to either play with my phone or be on the phone while driving.  Driving alone wasn't enough, time is too precious.  I needed to accomplish something else at the same time. 

That is a pretty optimal picture of what life is like anymore.  It's not just in the car...We have to multitask at everything - Cooking, work, shopping, watching television, playing a game with your kids, sports, and even with God.  I admit - I am 100% guilty.  I like to check facebook at red lights while driving; I like to eat while watching TV; I like to read while watching TV; I like to socialize and have deep conversations while playing sports; I love to multitask!  I am a woman who loves lists...Even if it doesn't look like I am multitasking, I am.  I am making one of probably 5 lists in my head - ranging from Budget editing, what needs to be bought at the grocery store, what my calendar looks like, what I need to work on with in my spiritual life, and a general to do list. 

The problem is that I have gotten so used to doing this in the rest of my life, that I do the same to God.  NOW THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!  God calls us to "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently in Him;" - Psalms 37:7...Be still...Not - do twenty different things while talking to God.  I am very guilty of letting my prayer time be in the car - It's a great time for me to focus on God, but it shouldn't be the only time.  Are our quiet times, really quiet?  Do you really only focus on God, or are you writing a list in the back of your head of things to do today, or things that happened already? 

As much as I am a fan of the multitasking generation, I think that there is a time to call it quits.  God needs to be our only thought, our only concern, not just one of many.  Sometimes, I think that if our generation of people could get back to the basics and primary concerns of life - (Dinner with family being just that - dinner, not phone calls and texts from others; Game time with your kids being just game time - not game in front of the television time) - then perhaps we could start understanding society...Perhaps then we could start understanding God and God's purpose for our lives...Take time out of your day for God alone this week, rest solely in Him and watch what He can do! 

Oh - and one more thing - It is Friday of March Madness, so I must throw out a Go CATS! 

Clarity - Amazing how God works

So - for me I have always thought God made you choose.  You chose which path you wanted to go down, God would use you either way, but you only got one chance to made the decision in which direction you want to go...I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG!  God gives us chance after chance.  He can switch our paths in the smallest of seconds, or the biggest of years.  No matter what though, He is going to guide us to where we need to be.  We don't all need to be the missionaries in Malawi in order to meet God's will for our lives, but we do need to be missionaries - no matter where we are.  In a secular job or a christian job - We need to seek God out in everything and make it known that your life is dedicated to God, you aren't perfect, but you definitely want to see everyone else around you seeking God as well.

This week has been a rough one for me - I was offered a job, which normally would be a cause for great joy, still is, but I was very hesitant.  You see this job is an in industry in which I previously worked and I did not like who I became in that industry...It also required a large pay-cut.  It's hard when you found an ideal job you were comfortable in to feel like you are taking a step backwards, so I was in great turmoil this week until today - I had been praying for clarity and expected this LOUD BOOMING Yes from heaven or verse to pop out of my bible that said yes - take every opportunity in front of you or no run for the hills.  It didn't work that way - I woke up and just realized this is what I need to do for now...It may not be where God wants me for the long haul, but it is what God needs me to do now, while I wait. 

I think so often we expect the big answers - we expect so much from God, and it has taken me this long journey of unemployment and especially this last week to realize that God doesn't always have the big answer for you...Sometimes he is okay whether you go in direction A or direction B as long as you are not disobeying him.  My order from God wasn't based on which job He wanted me to have, which is what I expected (mostly because last time I switched jobs - my orders from God were to come to Northern Kentucky via that job), instead my orders from God were to stay in this area.  The job thing is just one way to glorify Him while He continues to work through me in this area...Sometimes I think we expect that God's will is going to be like this big radiant light bulb that goes off over whatever it is that He wants us to do...I have felt the peace that comes with the big decisions - which is that light bulb...God's will isn't always in the light bulb moments.  I think sometimes He calls us in the simple peace as well...The knowing that He is going to take care of you no matter what and trusting in Him with each and every decision made...

As I was driving home tonight from my Wednesday run I was listening to this song by Jamie Grace featuring Toby Mac called Hold Me - It speaks so true of my feelings right now - I love the way God holds me, "In Your Arms I will always be",  "take Each and Every day and make it special in some way."  God never fails us and We will never figure Him out, but He will love us each and every step and help us make it to the next step...We only have to make it to the next step, then He will do the leg work on the step beyond that.  Rest in God's arms always - Love Him and Let Him love you!